


Predicament

by xsenbonzakurax



Series: The Woes of Post-686 ByaRen [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Bleach Post-Chapter 686 - Death & Strawberry, M/M, One Shot, Pining, Renji is now the idiot who doesn't know how to deal with feelings, Short, conflicted Renji, feelings; they ruin everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 16:46:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9081058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xsenbonzakurax/pseuds/xsenbonzakurax
Summary: Abarai Renji knew what love was- he was married, so of course he knew what love was... and yet he was still caught in this predicament.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So as some of you know, I mentioned a Renji's POV in the situation of my last piece, 'Young Love', and this is it. It can be read with or separate to it, and the order in which you read them, should you wish to read the other, doesn't matter. 
> 
> A massive thank you to DameOfNoDelicacy who helped beta this work. You really helped me get past my uncertainty with writing Renji. You're the best man :)

Abarai Renji knew what love was- he was married, so of course he knew what love was... and yet he was still caught in this predicament.

 

Rukia was his love- she was the one he had achieved _Bankai_  to save.

 _'Bankai wasn't for her’_  that voice piped up. _‘You know exactly who Bankai was for’_ it hissed and even though he knew it was the voice of his Zanpakuto, he told himself it was nothing.

 

Rukia was his love. She just _had_  to be. She was the person he had known longest in this world and there was scarcely anyone he cared for more.

 

So why was he here, with this deep gut-wrenching doubt pooling in his stomach as he stared at his captain?

 

His captain was staring at him... and his eyes were soft. _Kuchiki Byakuya_  was staring at him, _Abarai Renji_ , with _soft eyes_  and for some reason unbeknownst to him this made his heart flutter.

 

This was not the first time something like this had happened.

 

He remembered their spars, the coldness that seemed to linger in his captain’s eyes seemed to  melt, becoming fierce, determined and _so very alive_ ; they warmed and burned with a fire so ferocious that it made his heart burn for and with him. They left him hating every single person who had caged those eyes into the hard-cut gunmetal grey that he was accustomed to.

 

He remembered the late evenings when he and his captain would drink tea as they finished their last pages of paperwork for the day; his heart would sink at the thought of having to leave the other man for the night, even whilst knowing that he would see the other in only a few hours time.

 

He remembered walking through the Kuchiki Estate, lost and searching for his friend- his soon-to-be wife- and stumbling upon the private bathing rooms of Kuchiki Byakuya. His heart had stopped as he took in the sight of his captain, relaxed and completely bared for his roaming eyes to take in, every curve of the rarely uncovered skin open and so very visible. He had rushed away, images of the other ingrained in his mind and his heart racing in his chest.

 

His heart had never fluttered for Rukia.

 

His heart had never burned for Rukia.

 

His heart had never sunk at the thought of a night without Rukia nor had it stopped or raced for Rukia.

 

But- she was his wife, his star-

' _Byakuya’s your moon’_  hissed out that voice and -Dammit, why now? Why was his Zanpakuto butting its head in _now_?- because _Rukia_  was his love. _Not Byakuya._

  
Yet his desperate and seemingly-logical reasoning did nothing to remove him from his predicament.


End file.
